Inevitable death… knowing when your time is up.

IMG_2689.jpgHow would you want to die?

Sorry! If that, came as an abrupt question. But, would you rather know that you have few days left or would you prefer to go suddenly. Most people who have been sick for a long time may have some premonitions that they probably don’t have much days to live.

But what if you are deliberately kept away from the truth and that in reality you only have a month or so left? Would that person feel robbed of the truth? Would that person feel that they could have done something or tried achieving for the last time, a lingering wish, had they been aware of their limited time frame?

Or would that spirited person, full of energy who enjoys life, have gone into a shallow state of depression?

It’s really confusing for me. I mean, we went to see a former colleague, now retired, almost of my mom’s age, who is not doing too well. We were aware of his condition, because his wife had informed us of the seriousness of his condition. But the truth is not known to our sick former colleague.

I have known him to be a proud man, dedicated to his work and someone who can talk endlessly. He could be a difficult person; but, when he worked under me as a team, I could completely rely on him to perform. And in spite of our vast age difference I never faced any discrepancies from his end.

What I am trying to figure out is whether a person should be told the truth about his ailment and see how he deals with it? Most people who know that they are in the final stage of cancer lack the spirit to fight back. It’s like a path of no return. And, from what I have seen or heard, its depression that kills the person sooner rather than the disease itself.

There are some people who when are aware of how close death is, feel spiritually motivated. It gives a sense of strength and something to look forward beyond death. It’s like a final phase to renounce themselves, before the final breath.

The question again is would they feel cheated of their life? Yes, they would have had more days to lie back on their bed and contemplate on their lives and be grumpy and miserable. And again if a person were to die suddenly, would he feel the same— cheated? In both cases the feeling would be that of hopelessness.

I have had my own share of experience with death, when I accidentally drove my car off the cliff. Luckily, the car got stuck on a tree and some thick foliage, preventing my fall all the way down. But the feeling as I was falling was terrifying. I had so wanted to eject out of my seat. I felt completely helpless and several things were running in my head. I could picture my severed face, my devastated parents, and all that in between my screams.

Death is inevitable. We don’t know when it would strike. But what if you knew, would you have lived differently? Perhaps it’s all a question of ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybe’ alone.

But, as John Donne, bravely defines death in his sonnet. It is but –
“One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.”

Keep the faith.

Daily Prompt: Musical Marker

Just my imagination. 


I cannot sum up this summer with just one song, since I have been going through ‘some kind of emotional roller coaster’ (Eminem’s Space Bound). What started off as a normal meeting turned into something more beautiful as you ‘lead me out on the moonlit floor’ (Sixpence None the Richer’s Kiss Me) deceiving me with the sweetest kiss. Though, our meetings have been a restricted one, this time ‘I ain’t heard from you in three damn nights’ (Kid Rock’s Picture). ‘You, do you remember me, like I remember you. Do you spend your life, going back in your mind to that time’ (Enrique Iglesias’ Somebody’s me) where we rode off to the night, sat talking and watching the night sky. Slowly the days turned into a month. Now you have left me confused. ‘The conversation has run dry. That’s what’s going on, nothing’s fine, I’m torn’ (Natalie Imbruglia’s Torn). Maybe deep down inside of me I know the reason for your silence. Yeah! ‘Regrets and mistakes, their memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste.’(Adele’s Someone like you)

Daily Prompt: Middle Seat

Family values: Conversation sharedDSCN0944 copy

It is most interesting to come across people from different backgrounds when you’re travelling alone. Some leave you bitter while, others leave you with a thought. Usually, I like to plug on to my headphone and observe the activities going on around me. Preferably, I’d rather be left alone. I can go on listening to their conversation from across my seat. 

But again, there are moments when you are drawn to a conversation with some. The most varied experience with my fellow travelers would be those of my post graduation days. Every travelling has been unique. One such trip was, when I was travelling home to Tura from Kolkata by bus. My fellow passenger was a delightful little boy. In the second phase of my journey I had to change bus from Siliguri and that’s where I got a seat beside a 7-8 years old boy. The first thing I notice about him was his smile. He introduced himself and asked me what I do? I told him that I was a student, studying in Kolkata. He than lifted his face towards me and told me that he was working.

He then went on to describe his work and informed me that he can cook and that he helps his uncle in the shop. This may sound sad or terrible to most, knowing that a small boy is being made to work to support his family. But I was taken-a-back by the pride in his tone when he told me that. There was so much maturity in that tone and happiness too. He told me he doesn’t go to school anymore and that he goes home often to visit his family in Tura. When he went off to sleep, I kept looking at him, trying to understand his nature. That small frame of a body, doing so much and yet so proud of his achievements. I couldn’t say I was sad for him, because he had to do so much at such a tender age. I almost envied him, for his courage, for being able to give something back to his family.

In another instance, while travelling from Kolkata to Guwahati, but this time by train, I had the most intellectual conversation with a soldier. Every time I meet one, I kind of pity them for their line of work and yes, some I find very unfriendly as well. But then, once you start a conversation with them you can see the amount of sacrifice that they have to commit to, all in the name of peace. I think they are meant to look mean, so they can personify that unemotional nature, which makes them tough.

I was a student, travelling second class non AC. Soldiers in our place have special privileges to travel without tickets, so this one soldier came and sat next to me. He asked me the usual, like, where I’m from, doing what, etc? Half way through the conversation I felt like I was talking to an older brother who was advising me on family values. I realized how tough it must have been for them to manage only two days break in one whole year. I guess when you’re constantly away from your family; thier value becomes more crystal clear. The soldier informed me that his wife and two kids were living with his parents in his village. The conviction with which he told me to never disown my parents and to always make them a priority in life was so real. I haven’t always been on agreeable terms with my parents, but the value that I received whilst talking to that soldier that day, have always made me realize how lucky I am.

We are such greedy people who no matter what, always crib and complain. That little boy and the soldier are among the most amazing people I have had a pleasure to chance upon. I hope they are well wherever they are.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Green

The first thing that strikes me about ‘green’ is nature. I am surrounded by natural greenery everywhere: the advantage of living in a town. I live in a hilly area. So you would be seeing a lot of hills. Besides, we get rainfall most part of the year and the wettest place on earth is just a 292 km away. I have tried to incorporate some of my thoughts in the following images- like flowers with leaves, army man, green vegetables. Hope you like it.

Inspirations, thoughts, ideas…